The 2014 Winter Olympics at Paltalk

Written by The Star-Splitter

It’s the most wonderful time of the year: Olympic season. A time of unity and recognizing each other’s differences for the better. We’ve had a good two days so far and it looks like it’s going to only get better!

Oh, did I mention I’m talking about the Paltalk room?

Yes, there are a lot of good reasons to go to the room as there has been what can only be described as Olympic-level nuttery. Let’s take a look at some events.

Paltalk Olympics

Men’s 2m Speed Misspelling

Bronze“kingof kings_1: evolutio does not exist its fiction dude fiction!!!!!!111”

Ah yes, a great example of the blinding rage possible in antiscientific creationists. The form is perfect: a solid six exclamation marks with a stuck landing of three ones.

Silver“kingof kings_1: Thestar your not intelligent eneogh for a debate and probably think evolution has some sort of merrit when its an out and out lie”

Another medal for this country, you can only applaud at the classic styling of calling somebody not intelligent “eneogh”. The declaration of lack of “merrit” adds a professional irony to his performance.

Gold“Neph_: sily atheists”

 

‘nuff said.

Men’s Individual Large Hill Logic Jumping

Bronze“manupontheroof: Criss Angel IS superantural”

 

Manupontheroof truly deserved this honor, he practiced for several, several years in leaps of logic, ending in this fantastic show.

Silver“JamieAllen: So at least ONE wizard existed.”

 

In trying to refute the claim that his deity was a sorcerer, this athlete made a gigantic, unprecedented leap of logic did something nobody was expecting: claiming that the Wizard of Menlo Park, Thomas Edison… was actually a wizard. Outstanding.

Gold“JamieAllen: The universe is unnatural”

 

The judges had to measure very closely the silver and gold medal, but in the other, JamieAllen beat out JamieAllen by just a few nanograms of delusion. The text speaks for itself.

Men’s 2m Short Thinking

Bronze“manupontheroof: I’ve met many witches, but the problem is that their magic comes back to bite them.”

This event is always a show stopper. The favorite for this year sadly only got third, but still making a great show of how religiosity can pollute the mind into believing anything.

Silver“kingof kings_1: who dont lie about profesor Neph please -your jeaoluos because youve been schooled”

A sport where irony is key, the analogy of a school including a “professor” Neph; who has claimed no formal education past high school except for Google, and misspelling a slew of words, this performance hasn’t earned the gold, but has earned a place in history.

Gold“JamieAllen: whatever your little heart desires to make a god; then so it is!”

Perhaps the perfect example of religious reasoning, if only JamieAllen could watch his own performance, he’d know how non-believers felt about his religion.

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About Trite Static

I enjoy coffee with cream and tea with sugar and am only able to knit in squares.
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One Response to The 2014 Winter Olympics at Paltalk

  1. Pingback: The 2014 Winter Olympics at Paltalk | aericstanor

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