Written by The Star-Splitter
It’s the most wonderful time of the year: Olympic season. A time of unity and recognizing each other’s differences for the better. We’ve had a good two days so far and it looks like it’s going to only get better!
Oh, did I mention I’m talking about the Paltalk room?
Yes, there are a lot of good reasons to go to the room as there has been what can only be described as Olympic-level nuttery. Let’s take a look at some events.
Men’s 2m Speed Misspelling
Ah yes, a great example of the blinding rage possible in antiscientific creationists. The form is perfect: a solid six exclamation marks with a stuck landing of three ones.
Another medal for this country, you can only applaud at the classic styling of calling somebody not intelligent “eneogh”. The declaration of lack of “merrit” adds a professional irony to his performance.
Men’s Individual Large Hill Logic Jumping
Manupontheroof truly deserved this honor, he practiced for several, several years in leaps of logic, ending in this fantastic show.
In trying to refute the claim that his deity was a sorcerer, this athlete made a gigantic, unprecedented leap of logic did something nobody was expecting: claiming that the Wizard of Menlo Park, Thomas Edison… was actually a wizard. Outstanding.
The judges had to measure very closely the silver and gold medal, but in the other, JamieAllen beat out JamieAllen by just a few nanograms of delusion. The text speaks for itself.
Men’s 2m Short Thinking
This event is always a show stopper. The favorite for this year sadly only got third, but still making a great show of how religiosity can pollute the mind into believing anything.
A sport where irony is key, the analogy of a school including a “professor” Neph; who has claimed no formal education past high school except for Google, and misspelling a slew of words, this performance hasn’t earned the gold, but has earned a place in history.
Perhaps the perfect example of religious reasoning, if only JamieAllen could watch his own performance, he’d know how non-believers felt about his religion.